Ittafaq ya Mazaak

Tumse baat hui,kya haseen ittafaq tha
kya din me haal,kya aalam tha raat ka
raahon me jaise phool barasne lage
har su teri aawaaz sun ne ko tarasne lage
kismaat se jo maanga ,bas tera deedar tha
tujh se rubaroo hone ka intezaar tha
khair khuda ka jo ,tujh se mila diya
zindagi ka haseen taufa de diya
khatm yahan par ho jaata phasana to achha hota
ab tujh ko bhulana namumkin se kya kam tha ?
meri raatein ,tere jalwoon se bhari thi
khwaabon me tera husn naachta tha.
Hosh se ab haamaara waasta na raha
Harsu tera khayaal aata raha
Dil ne kaha badte hue kadmon ko rok loon
Tujhse mohabbat karne se pehle tujh se pooch to loon
Kya kahoon tera jawaab mujh par kya dha gaya
Tu bhi mujhe chahti hai,ye ishaare se keh gaya
Ab to meri khushi ki had na rahi
Jis par khada tha,who zameen zameen na rahi
Dil me aatish baazi
zindagi me raunak si cha gayi
Tera naam leke jee ta raha
Mohabbat ke jaam pee ta raha
Mere sabr ki jab intiha hui
Dil me aarzoo jaag gayi
Tere labon se mujhe mera naam sunna tha
Ek hazrat thi ,ek ummed thi
Par is maasoom dil ko kya samjhaaoon
In ujaalon ko bhi marna tha
Abhi mujhe tera inkaar bhi sunna tha
Qayamat tha who lamha ,jo tune mere pyaar ko thukraa diya
Apne dil ki duniya me ,kisi aur ko basa liya
Mere aankhon ke saamne gubaar sa cha gaya
Mere gham ki koi had na rahi
Jis par mai khada tha who zameen zameen na rahi
Aasma mere gham ko samet kar baras ne laga
Meri rooh ,jalne lagi ,
Zindagi khade khade pighalne lagi
Aansoo ban ke khanjar chubh ne lage
Hum tere siva,maut ko taras ne lage
Kya din me tha haal ,kya aalam tha raat ka
Tum se mohabbat hui,
Yeh zindagi kya khoob tera mazaak tha !!!!

FACE TO THE NAME !!!

This is the "FACE TO THE NAME "
RISHIKESH

What can i say abt these pics.
I appreciate the cameraman and his camera.

Should i still fake ?? ?

Gloom, sickness, disposals ,confusions, stupidity,lethargy and much.... more

I ve been haunted by all these for the past few days. Could be the reason for not scribbling here. But then what do i write ,am so confused with myself. when did i grow so compromising with situations , Time to get back on track ,All part of the game ,yes i ll start combating with these .I need to ..........

But to just analyse whats wrong ! Y did i experience all these ? i think and find no right answer. Anything i guess props up another question ,and i get back in the loop of thinking......
Thinking .. ,is a good exercise , but when u r surrounded with so many unusual questions ,its tough to concentrate. But i am not going to give up ,everything in this world has a reason. WAIT !!
am i crazy to solve mystries.... ? May be YES.

I try and try to solve one question , "y did this happen to me"? HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY .
Let me try a philosophical approach to this, I ask myself ," y should it not happen to you"? yes the whole puzzle is solved. Anything can happen to anyone anywere.

But then "what did i do , that this happened to me."?
"This" could be anything unpleasant.
This is the question to be answered correctly. Let me try answering this
May be i expected more than i deserve. I feel this is right.

everything is fine now, but something deep with in me, compells me to scrutinise all my moves and thoughts. I am still not satisfied ,
Y didnt i deserve what i expected?
is this that led me to all those monstrous thoughts mentioned above ?

i am confused ........, Then i feel i am stupid to waste efforts and time on it.Thought let me stop right here,no more questions , STOP HERE............

i am blank , completely blank nothing to do nor think. LETHARGIC........

But ,..
........ again a but !!
one more big question ,
Who rules my brain other than me ?
Who rules my brain other than meeeeeeeeeee?

OHH my god ,so many questions no answers , Anybody out here to help me whats wrong with me ,am i insane?

No one answers , I am left all alone with these unsolved questions.

I scream within myself , as loud as possible . I make a desperate dedicated attempt to come out of it, I close my eyes with a prayer to the almighty ,show me the way lord !!

Luckily some one answers.
"what you are and feel today is just by the choice you made in your past"

I am all struck , i am slumbrous .... almost unconcious . ..
and when i wake up the line
"what you are and feel today is just by the choice you made in your past" . strikes me again.
By now i am scared to think ; nevertheless i make an effort to dive to the depths of this line. . .

I finally realised ,all i felt and suffered was just a minute expression of someone ,who has been crying and craving for truth ,honesty and loyalty since my existence. and now i feel sorry to have mercilessly disobeyed him.

I ve been trying to fake my expression,my thoughts , in all myself..

I ve been disobeying and hurting him everytime he wants to say something. Now i know when nobody came out to help when i was suffering and screaming,it was him who came to my rescue , The ALMIGHTY is none other than my own SUBCONCIOUS.

its so cruel to fake , u can fake to the whole world but not to yourself.

Here is a sher that speaks it all,

"duniya kee bheed mein mai bhi cheekha woh bhi cheekhe
sun kar jo unsuna kiya ,woh khud ki hi tadap thi.
Jab sannata chaaya raha ,aankhon ke saamne
mai tha ,tanhaayee thi
aur ek bebas laachar mere khud ki hi cheekh thi"